In the end, Cupling Victor miscarried six times.

With each attempt, the newborn’s quality improved, from half-formed insults to dragons, to a perfect copy of Manling Victor without the skin. The grail kept wailing, surrounded by an enormous pool of blood and corpses, while everyone else watched him in silence. None dared to speak up.

As the grail produced a bubble of blood, Tasty Malfy joined the party, stepping through an infernal portal. “What did I miss?” The fiend noticed the cup and the lake of blood, his mood improving noticeably. “Is that… is that what I think it is?”

“My minion is giving birth.” Vainqueur wondered if he had misunderstood the minion biological cycle. “To himself.”

“A satanic resurrection!” Malfy raised his pincers. “I never saw one before! Mr. Victor, you can do it!”

“Minions, stop saying nonsense,” Vainqueur said, glancing at Indebted Allison. “You, help my chief of staff carry the body to term!”

“How, Your Majesty?” The dryad dared to talk back, Vainqueur blaming her stressful debt rather than lack of minion education. “Putting my hands in the blood?”

“Do not speak, minion! Do!”

“Do what?”

“The thing!”

“The body…” Victor the cup screamed, as the blood bubble became bigger than a house. “The body is coming!”

“I hope it’s a girl!” Jolie said with giddy joy.

“I hope it’s a princess!” Grandrake added.

“I’m going to vomit,” Knight Kia said, showing a complete lack of support for Cupling Victor’s suffering.

Finally, the bubble exploded, releasing Manling Victor back into the world with a flood of blood.

The body washed up on the pavement, groaning all the way while the cup turned inanimate. Vainqueur glanced at the newborn, and to his pleasure, the seventh time had been the charm. No more mismatched wings, no more mismatched organs, and no more snakes for fingers.

“Oh BLEEP,” Manling Victor said, as Sweet Chocolatine and Untasty Allison helped him get back to his feet. “Oh BLEEP that sucked.”

“But it was cheap,” Vainqueur declared, proud of his Vizier saving him money.

“I think my liver is in the wrong place,” Manling Victor complained, Knight Kia casting healing spells on him. “It felt worse than King Wotan’s lightning.”

“Wotan?” Grandrake scratched the back of his head. “That name sounds familiar.”

“A lightning fairy that would not die,” Vainqueur reminded him, before dismissing him. “I buried him under a volcano.”

“Yes, that petulant fairy child!” Grandrake laughed as if reminiscing a funny joke. “I still remember him trying to get my attention by throwing lightning at me and take back my Fairy Princess. It was amusing for a while, but I had to gently poke him in the eye to make him stop.”

“Well, this was a complete waste of time,” Furibon said, backed up by his expedition’s members. “Now, can we decide what to do with the reward? I will take my leave and forget you all afterward.”

“The reward?” Vainqueur glared at the lich, before glancing at the enormous pile of loot left behind by the mummy and El Dorado’s locals. Everything there impressed him with its shininess, but he would need his chief of staff to identify the exact value with his [Eye for Treasure] Perk.

“Furi, is that the dragon you kept telling us about?” Vainqueur once more paid attention to Furibon, finding him backed up by a group of would-be minions. One elf, one orc, a ratkin, and a birdkin; they carried themselves with the confidence of experienced adventurers. “Vainqueur Knightsbane?”

“No, it is another dimwit dragon,” Furibon replied with heavy sarcasm, before calming himself. “It is him, unfortunately.”

“He’s so huge!” The ratkin looked up at Vainqueur with awe.

“Yes, it is I, Vainqueur Knightsbane, but you will call me Your Majesty,” the dragon declared with pride. “With a capital M. I can tell the difference.”

“How?” The elf frowned, before taking a step back as Vainqueur glared at her.

“What do these paupers say?” Grandrake asked.

“Nonsense I should expect from a lich’s lackeys,” Vainqueur said.

“Ah, a lich, is that what you are?” Grandrake nodded at Furibon, unaware of his depravity. “That reminds of that Lich Princess I caught in Tsaria, after a long chase through a winter storm. A remarkably proud and ancient creature she was, but alas, incapable of socializing. She kept killing my minions for no reason, due to undead rabies; I had to euthanize her.”

“There are dangerous princesses?” Jolie asked, eager to learn from the best.

“Of course, the world of princesses is full of wild predators… none worse than the Manling Princess. Beware Manling Princesses, young Jolie. For out of all animals, they are the only ones who kill for money.”

“Yes, yes, can we split the loot now?” Furibon said hastily, consumed by greed. “We can divide it into three parts, one for each group that contributed to the battle.”

“Excellent idea!” Vainqueur replied, separating the hoard into three shares. The brightest, which included the dragon-sized ring, he took for himself.

“Jolie, here is yours.” To his beautiful niece, he granted a large share, including armor made of shining stones. The pure-hearted dragonling immediately jumped on her loot, as if it was her own hoard.

“And the third part,” Furibon threatened to take it, so Vainqueur immediately grabbed the loot for its own protection. “Is mine too, as the elder dragon’s share.”

“What?” The Goldslayer dared contest this fair sharing of resources. “This is theft!”

“Furi, don’t mouth off at the giant dragon…” his orc friend pleaded, while the lich remained full of hate.

“If you take it, you will turn it to lead!” Vainqueur glared at Furibon. “Never again will you touch a baby coin on my watch!”

“Turn it to lead?” Grandrake frowned.

“He is Furibon the Goldslayer, enemy of all hoards!” Jolie showed her excellent judgment, glaring at the lich. “He turned Uncle’s gold to lead with evil magic to hurt him!”

“Once!” Furibon replied as if it excused his loathsome crime. “Once!”

“Once too many!” Vainqueur replied.

“I do not understand you, young lich,” the elder dragon told Furibon. “With that kind of magical talent, you could have used your powers for the greater greed.”

“I turned a hoard to lead once in my entire existence!” The lich let out a scream of rage. “I have no interest in antagonizing you dragons anymore, and I have helped you loyally against Sablar’s chosen! Am I not entitled to a second chance?”

“It is true that you saved my Jolie from death and a costly resurrection,” Vainqueur granted him that. “But it does not even begin to make up for your crimes against dragonkind.”

“What will it take then?”

Vainqueur frowned at the undead. He had taken his protests as mere deception, but the more he listened, the more he doubted. Could Furibon truly desire to atone for his sins against him?

“You,” Vainqueur turned to the lich’s allies, who hide behind their undead master, “Why do you stand with the wicked one?”

The lich’s minions exchanged glances, until the elf mustered the courage to speak up. “Look, Your Majesty, I know Furibon is hard to live with sometimes. He is an undead abomination against nature, cranky, he has no sense of humor—”

“Your support warms my heart,” Furibon lied, since he had none.

“—but he is a good teammate.”

“He has been with us since the country of Barin put us on an exploration fleet,” the ratling added. “I can’t remember the number of times he saved us from monsters.”

“Yeah, he helped us map out the jungle so people can settle the frontier, and he never asked for anything in return!” the orc said. “I know there’s bad blood between you two, but… maybe you could… consider burying the hatchet?”

Vainqueur was confused. How would burying a weapon settle the matter?

Still, the lich’s minions did not appear mentally controlled, or entranced by Furibon’s vile power. Did they… did they genuinely like him? Had Vainqueur’s nemesis truly turned away from his evil ways?

Jolie seemed confused. “Uncle, what do we do?” she asked. “He is evil, but my [Paladin] class asks that I give a chance at redemption to any villain who asks for it.”

“I have already helped you,” Furibon said. “What more proof do you need?”

“Well then, I have been under a tiresome curse, and I have been looking for a wizard capable of lifting it.” Grandrake cleared his throat, ready to dispense wisdom. “Since I can hear you, that means you are wealthy enough by my minion standards.”

The lich froze. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“You can repay your debt to dragonkind by assisting me in my princess hunts,” Grandrake offered, leaving Vainqueur in awe of his boundless dragon generosity. Could the wyrm truly offer a second chance to that puny lich?

Even Furibon was left floored by this magnanimous offer. “Neve—”

“I am a dragon,” Grandrake reminded the undead warlock with a paternal smile. “You are now my minion.”

“Furi, maybe we should listen to that proposal,” the lich’s elf ally said. “It can’t be that bad.”

“Do you want to be a dragon’s slave?” the lich insulted the ancient dragon institution.

“Minion!” Vainqueur defended the rightful dragon way. “Slaves do not have vacations!”

“I mean, we get paid for our work, right?” the lich’s orc friend asked the difficult question.

“One one-tenth,” Grandrake answered with a kind nod.

“From what you told us about Victor Dalton, he ended up gaining sixty levels and untold riches in less than a year,” the orc explained his reasoning, “We get to explore the world with a dragon to protect us—”

“You are seriously doing this to me right now?” Furibon said, astonished.

“Do you refuse to reform the proper dragon way?” Vainqueur asked.

“I will not become a dragon’s servant like Dalton!” Furibon refused the offer for rehabilitation, bound by his evil ways.

“Then,” Vainqueur fearlessly expanded his wings. “There is only one way to settle our differences, lich.”

“Bring it,” Furibon replied, lightning crackling between the two rivals’ eyes.

Uh…

Ugh, Victor felt terrible.

Your soul has a new vessel. You regained use of your class and personal Perks, and your bond to your [Black Grail] and [Scythe of Charon] has grown stronger! Your type has been changed to [Slime/Dragon].

Permanent +6 VIT, -6 SKI and -6 AGI. You gain immunity to [Unholy] and Critical Hits, but you are now vulnerable to [Holy] and [Blood] effects.

You gained the [Bloodborn] monster Perk.

[Bloodborn]: You gain a +4 bonus for checks against physical stat debuffs, disease, paralysis, poison and hostile polymorph effects. Blood-draining and blood purification attacks inflict super effective damage against you.